missing u already

where shud i begin? haha.. i remember it was April 12th 2005 i got enlisted into civil defence to start my NS .. haha.. wasnt too excited abt it but it was part and parcel of every male singaporean's life.. hahaha... sad part was.. i didnt know a single person.. and as u all already know.. civil defence is made up of mostly malays.. which caused a language barrier for me... thankfully.. most of them could speak english too.. haha..

I remember the first day i enlisted.. we were brought to shave our heads.. haha.. by fellow NSmen.. and we stil had to pay $2 .. it was kinda rip off la.. but.. oh well.. anyway after that.. the Officer in charge said that our batch of NSmen didnt haf to stay in.. which was good in the sense that i could enjoy the luxury of sleeping home everyday and still get to go out and do stuff. the bad part was that i had to travel all the way to yio chu kang every morning.. anyway .. i was posted to be a clerk and for the first 3 weeks.. we were taught how to use Microsoft word.. excel .. blah blah blah..

After 3 weeks... we were posted to different braches of civil defence all over singapore.. thankfully... i got posted to telok kurau camp.. which was like a 2 min walk from my home.. haha.. things didnt go as well as i planed because ...everyday when i got to camp.. the other older NSmen would bully me.. take my cigarettes.. tie me up and shave my head and stuff.. i thought as time passed.. things would get better.. but unfortunately it didnt.. anyways.. i complained to my officer and i got posted to Paya Lebar Fire Station..

First impression was that the place was very "family oriented". everyone seemed to love each other and everyone was super friendly... especially to me.. because i was in charge of the "leave". If any NSman wanted to take leave.. he would hafta go thru me.. haha..

Everything seemed to be fine from there... my daily activites would roughly be... arrive in camp at 8 am.. sleep in bunk till 830.. go for a smoke... do some office work... check files.. go for a smoke.. hang out with the storemen( my best buddies) go for break.. do more work... smoke more.. lunch... play pool.. sing ktv..smoke... sleep... go home..

After about 6 months.. there came a new officer.. his name was LTA shah.. he was about the meanest asshole u can find... well.. he promoted me to chief clerk though .. hahaha.. TO GIF ME MORE WORK!!! haha.. anyway as time passed by.. he turned out to be one of my good friends... whom i can always rely on to get me outta trouble.. and to gif me off days... and leave.. hahaha.. i also became a bowler for civil defence.. and i did win some competitions.. haha..

Shortly after that came my 2 new clerks.. they were freaking lazy la... but i guess they did teach me alot of things.. and did make life seem alot easier because they shared my work load.. although sometimes i had to work OT .. and they didnt.. but i guess... it was about time i learnt some responsibilities instead of being such a lazy spoilt brat.. haha..

Time seemed to pass by quicker as i began to enjoy doing my job.. i did get scolded alot for being tardy in my work though.. i was always leaving things on my desk and having it taken away and stuff.. haha but.. i always managed to do my job.. i tink.. haha.. anyway soon MIKE came along.. we hit it off straight away and became super close buddies.. hahaha..

soon enuff.. my 2 years of NS was over.. and although im glad its over.. i sure miss those good ol days where i could jus relax in the office with my buddies.. talking cock the whole day... praying that our officers are on leave.. or MC.. hahaha.. MOst pple say NS sucks but i guess... thats cos they havent been thru it.. once they haf.. they would find that its something that not many pple can go thru... its a lifetime experience.. u get to meet pple of all walks of life... diff backgrounds..

Up to now.. i still get excited when i see an ambulance or Fire engine zoom pass me... and i also miss the sound of the siren going off when there is a fire call.. and LTA shah sliding down the pole... hahaa.. cool cool cool =PpP

go away..

i hate it when u ignore me...
i hate it when u talk to others but not me
i hate it when u drink more dan u can
i hate it when ure drunk dont let me give u a hand

other than that, ure the best thing that ever happened to me
No doubt about it.. when im with u i feel so free..
i reallie wanna hold u tight
And honestly treat u right..
And never let u out of my sight

Please dont ever go away...
i wont let u..

good ol days.... pls come back

THese few months saw many changes in my life... since april.. i haf completed my NS. Huge step for many young singaporean males.. haha.. i reallie miss those times where we could jus hang out at sicc playing blind man in the locker room... or jus playing soccer in the old tennis courts and getting chased out all the time.. haha..after that we would just hide in the alley and bowl or some shit.. haha... haiz... good ol days.. all we had to worry abt was school... which wasnt much of a prob.. haha.. miss school also..

Even though jeongy and i went overseas .. im glad we didnt drift apart.. its reallie heart warming that we haf friends that care so much for us and... honestly.. i already treat u guys as my family..

These few months saw 2 new friends joining us.. mainly ashley and sharon... i reallie hope we all live up to the famous words of..... care bear.. " friends forever" hahaha.. not even sure if care bear said that.. who cares..

anyway... life has been pretty sweet for me la.. travelling here and there.. having fun everyday.. but honestly . there has been alot of hating going on.. no names mentioned la.. but i reallie hope all this stops soon.. come on la.. we practically saw each other grew up.. from young kids to sensible adults.. guys.. its honestly a very hard thing to come by..we prolly know each other better dan we know ourselves..

anyway... im kinda running out of time .. so yeah.. i love all of u... forever and ever and ever *foOngy OUT!!

对不起

I'm sorrie for the times u cried..
All the pain and loneliness u felt inside
I'm sorrie for the way things are..
And the selfishness that you've endured
I'm sorrie for the time we've lost
And for all the pain that i've cost
I'm sorrie im not that man that u deserve
This has been the hardest lesson learnt
I'm sorrie i was there to show..
The deepest love you'll ever know
I'm sorrie for the empty space.
That u had to fill in my place
But here i promise and i vow..
To love and care forever .. here and now
=p take care guys
Sorie if i wasnt the friend that u all needed

dreams are for believers

I sleep in the clouds..
Dream in the sky
I'll keep dreaming...
As life passes me by
I tink my dreams keep me sane
A life filled with hope..
A life without pain
I know someday i'll hafta wake up
Into this horrible nightmare
But i knowi'll always be safe in my wonderland
Cos in my dreams.. theres onli u and i =p

faster than the speed of light...

i've recently found out that ive had a disease for quite a while.. but i dont know how to tell anyone.. I've got to get my act together .. get well soon otherwise i wont haf a future to look forward too.. its killing me slowly and i dont know what to do.. thinking about it... reallie makes me feel... heartbroken and disheartened.. if only i had done my parents proud while i could... i mean.. all these times failing exams and stuff.. sigh.. brings back alot of memories..i remember the day i got my PSLE results.. my dad jus looked at me and i could see tears forming at the corner of his eyes. Once again.. his son had failed him terribly.. i decided from then on.. i had to work real hard... i got into sec1 express but on condition that i bowled for the school.. in order to do that.. i had to go training everyday after school.. hence i didnt study much and dropped to "normal" stream. Once again i had disappointed my parents.. but there was hope.. i could go back to express in sec 3. But as u all know.. i didnt manage to do it.. as i got more involved in bowling... didnt do well in sec sch and dad sent me overseas to further my studies but i guessed i fucked that up as well... Anyway... there is no cure for the disease that im carrying at the moment.. im at a loss as well.. sigh.. if only time didnt pass the quickly.. i want to go back being a small boy with no worries at all.. i used to carry my Ninja Turtle toy wherever i went.. hahaha.. i mus say.. ive had a blessed childhood... got to travel first class everywhere we went.. some adults havent eeven sat an aeroplane their whole lives.. sigh.. if only time could stop and i could savour this moment that ive had.., or having.. but if i go.... i would reallie miss u alot.. no doubt about it.. anyways.. guys.. take care.. cherish every moment u guys haf with ur friends .. family and loved ones..

start anew?

I thought i didnt love u..

But now i know i do...

When u smiled at me ..

My heart melted..

It was frozen for far too long

I wondered if i called..

Would u answer the phone?

Cos i jus spoke to u

In a very platonic tone

Would u avoid me if i said i love u

Would u distant urself..

Now i wouldnt know..

Nothing else matters

When i look at u..

You are happy..

You are in love

But not with me

BUt i am happy..

Because u are happy.. =p

even medicine cant help.. haha

你每次对着我笑

你的笑里面有毒药

我看着你出了神还丢掉了解药

可能你从来没感觉到

最好你永远感觉不到

爱上你越来越无可救药

一天一天越来越无可救药

一生一次爱你到无可救药

我才慢慢体会到

幸福是被爱的人需要

Sigh.... sadness dwells upon me again.. foongy out

never like before

Never haf i been lonelier before..

sadness overpowers the happyness i potray

Lonely are the nights..

Loney are the days...

Trust me im lonely.. in so many ways.. =(

Lonely are the seasons

Lonely are the years

I tink of u... and it brings back tears..

I hate this place..

I hate my Life...

All i haf is my Parang.. er.. i mean knife.. =(((

Thanks for being here with me..

i'll always remember the moments we share

Sadly it seems u dont even care...

Anymore.... =(